Thoughts on Netiquette and Our Community

Like many of you, I've joined other online communities for parents. Before GreatSchools was founded, I joined a small local one to get the insiders' view of schools I was considering for my kids, find a low-cost tutoring center for one child and a Spanish tutor for the other.  Armed with the advice of the parents in this community, I was able to begin researching learning disabilities and finding how to get one of my children tested.

The parents in this community put a lot of thought into their posts, and I grew to trust them because I tested their advice and because they gave it in the spirit of helping others tackle tough problems.

As online communities have grown, I have joined others. Each has its own culture, and some of them can be pretty nasty.  I've seen discussions about the merits of public vs. private schools turn into virtual warfare with each faction insulting the other. I've seen parents level personal attacks at anyone who dares to disagree with their views about special ed. 

Some people thrive on bare-knuckle battling, and some communities — particularly those devoted to policy debates — do, too. But I think a community dedicated to helping parents solve emotionally wrenching problems should be a more welcoming place.

Don't get me wrong, I like passionate debate. I hope we'll have lots of it in the GreatSchools Parent Community. But I want our community to be one in which people feel they can freely ask questions and give advice. And I hope that when we disagree with one another, we keep in mind we're all doing the best we can to do right by our kids.

We'll be talking a lot more about community guidelines in the future. In the meantime, I'd offer up these three quick guidelines of my own: 

• Treat people online the way you would treat them face to face.

• Stay focused on the point you're trying to make.

• If you're angry when you write, don't hit "send" right way. Reread your post, remember that it will live on the Web long after you've calmed down. Then count to 10 before you hit "send."

What kinds of experiences — positive or negative — have you had in online communities?  What can we do to make our community a welcoming and useful one?

Comments

[lilis_mom]

Hi, Linda! I first want to say I am really excited about the community! Cant wait to see what kind of groups I'll be joining and people I'll be talking to as well. I have to say you really pinpointed great tips, on how to be careful with what you write! I agree with you 100% That's exactly what I dont want to see happen to this community. I want it to stay focused on the children thats what we are here for. Of course, if we get to meet some friends along the way no harm....however the main topics should be about school, children and our concerns and issues. I am a very proud mother of a beautiful 5yr old girl in kindergarten, yet keep in mind I have worked with children from pre-k to 6th grade. Anyhow, just in case you notice the time, I am at work. I am a sleep tech....wait I'll stop there other story for another day! Thank you for your time, take care -jessica

[Di on Family Vacation]

I am very glad to see that there still parents that make the effort of helping not only themselves but others, when it comes to making the best choices for our children. I found this site so helpful in my process of choosing a school for my children,I recommend all the parents to read through what other parents have written, I believe everyone has a story and different experience, and we can all learn from each other, Thanks to all of you that care.

[Maureen]

Linda,

First let me say I am excited to see this community get up and off the ground. I have participated in a number of communities of practice and listserves and am aware of the issues you relate. I think that one thing that helps is for people to not take comments personally or to make comments personal. I think that we can disagree, even vehemently, and still learn. Looking at things from different perspectives can help one gain a better perspective on their own concerns or issues. I am the parent of a middle schooler who attends a charter school, a 4th grder who attends a public school and has an IEP due to disability and a pre-schooler who attends a developmental preschool.

[ailynne pebenito]

Dear Linda,
Good day to you. I am really appreciative of people like yourself with the advice on netiquette. Definitely it would be of help to all of us. I am looking forward to reading more of your blog.
Thanks,
Ailynne PeBenito